Speaking out - Pnd
The happy Instagram uploads, the wonderful celebrations we had when Reyaana arrived and the hours sitting down breastfeeding and staring at your baby thanking god she's here healthy and safe is just one side of the miracle of becoming a mum - and it's wonderful!
Then there's the baby-blues, un-explainable crying, the skin outbreaks, thinning hair, the sense of relief when someone takes your baby away for an hour so that you can be alone - and it feels good, but it feels wrong at the same time.
"How can I have just given birth to my dreams and not want to hold her"...
I'd roll my eyes every time she wanted feeding, i'd wake Lakh up to settle her because my anger at not being able to settle her was becoming scary.
It wasn't until I had my first night of sleep I took a step back and realised - shit - this isn't me.
Despite it taking 3 days of expressing milk - I made sure i'd bottle that golden milk up and get out of the house, without her to keep my sanity.
It's taken a while to write about this - naturally, when there are hundreds of people you know reading your blogs you don't want the sympathy cards to be pulled out - instead, I hope that my blogs and new mission can help other women just like me. Depression isn't always extreme, i've learnt that thanks to a beautiful soul from Approach Therapy, it's sometimes an accumulation of small things which lead to you bursting - on the inside.
I have recently heard from a lot of like-minded women, working mums, busy entrepreneurial women, stay at home mums and studying mums that it took a while to gain that confidence to step out of the house again after giving birth, go out with the girls despite still being 8 kilos' heavier, go out despite having the big red scars left on your face from pregnancy hormones. It lead me to think -
If I can help these women feel the slightest bit more confident about themselves in the appearance, give them that boost they need to be more confident at work, out with the girls or just at home with their partner - then i'll be able to put my experiences and my passion for being a make-up artist to good use.
From 2018 onwards, a percentage of my profits from make-up bookings will be donated to PANDAS FOUNDATION UK . There'll be youtube tutorials (finally after many requests!) on simple things like covering up blemishes, affordable products, top lipsticks for a pick-me-up, baby friendly cosmetics and more!
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me to start tutorials/vlogging - getting in front of a video and posting online to thousands of followers on Facebook/Instagram isn't an easy task but if I can help women and make a difference, then it'll be worth it!
over and out... from a young mum trying to make a difference.
p.s. i'd love to hear your story & what make-up/beauty tips you need to help give you a boost or how it has helped already. DM me!